Club BoxBoy

My dear guests, we bid you welcome to the Club BoxBoy! This page
represents our extremely feeble attempt to stimulate your visual senses and
empty your pockets of plethorae of coin. Every month or so, Club BoxBoy will
present for your approval and amusement a different theme of fabulous BoxBoy
product. Like a box of extremely inexpensive pastel cream-filled chocolates, you
never know what you will get until you open wide and say "aaahhh." So enjoy ...
and remember that this site is NOT intended to be a cyber-museum. We do
want your hard-earned money so we can continue to purchase compact discs,
DVDs and eat! And thus, we commence...

Hostess with the Mostess

Everybody doesn't like something, but
nobody doesn't like Hostess cupcakes.
Chocolate decadence with cream filling.
And the funny little squiggle of white icing
on top of black icing. How wholesome can
one get? These used to be fortified with
Vitamin C, we think. These cupcakes are
what we would call a fancy recipe.

How Now, Black Kow

OMG (the only text message-speak we
know), whoever came up with this killer
combo shoulda won a Noble Prize for
kitschen arts. We could eat a 10-pack of
these in one sitting (along with one of
those Morton's frozen coconut pies) and
still crave some Reese's Pieces. ET
phone home -- ya ain't getting a piece of
me Reese.

Butter, Can You Spare a Nut?

Mmm Mmm Good

Musta been a regional favorite, coz we
ain't ever heard of it. We did drink
"Chocolate Soldier" once or twice as a
tadpole. A bottled concoction that
tasted like chocolate syrup mixed with
water, and non-carbonated. Yuck. Not
very tasty. We think CS has long been
laid to rest and that taps was played at
the end.

We used to be known as "King Ding
Dong" way back in the day. We still love a
good wholesome ding dong with nice fresh
creamy filling that oozes amply when we
bite into it. There was better protection
in yesteryear -- aluminum foil as opposed
to cheap paper/plastic today. Eat safely!

It's So Tasty Too

Where's Miss Frances?

When we were small we were forced to
drink whole white milk at mealtime until we
were 12 years of age. Oh happy day that
be! Chocolate milk didn't exist except for
Nestle's Quick and Hershey's Syrup. It
was a banner day when, in high school,
chocolate milk was available in single
servings to accompany the mystery meat
burger and burnt French fries. And the
cafeteria women were always crabby.

Wholesome, hardy and comfortable. So
what's this entry doing here anyway?
Try sodium chloride and lots of it.
Progresso and designer canned soups all
blow. One must have Campbell's,
espcially those with the easy pull-tab
tops. Try adding a lot of Tabasco
Sauce to your cream of tomato with a
dollup of sour cream. Saltines optional.

Tickling the Tootsies

Good God allmighty, when these things
were stale, they'd pull your teeth out.
Better to use these little logs around and
in the terlet to gross out a loved one. Or
even better, do the "Baby Ruth bar in
the swimming pool" trick -- the peanuts
easily pass for corns for added realism.
Moses couldn't even part the waters this
fast.

Toad Ya So

Giggin' fer frogs ... now that's wholesome
entertainment! Our daddy used to take us
to a little pond near the homestead (said
pond now nearly covered by Super
Wal-Mart and strip malls) to spear poor
froggies with trident. Our mama would fry
pulled amphibian legs and expect us chillens
to eat em up. No way Hose A. Years later,
we did eat fried frog legs at an Atlanta
eatery and they were tasty -- in fact, they
taste like chicken!

Club BoxBoy

Your Junk Is My Comfort

As we all know, our BoxBoy loves to gripe. Per this installment of CB, we focus
our rants on the haughty nerds posing as nutritionist gurus who insist that we all eat
according to their hare-brained (rabbit food) standards. And we say, "Here's a
quarter ... call someone who cares." Have you ever seen these people interviewed on
the tele? They look like pale and pasty vampire prunes who even hungry vampires
shun for hardier fare. These losers' windbag oratories of doom and gloom on the
benefits of healthful eating are about as obnoxious as the "let's go green/save the
earth" fanatics who pop up in all the most unwanted places. And oui, we are sick of
it all! We once asked a soccer mom if there was ever any uproar amongst parents
when Cokes, Little Debbies and bagged pork rinds were served at post-game
fellowships among players, as opposed to carrot/celery sticks and mineral water.
Rolling her eyes, she died laughing that anything "natural and healthful" would even
be brought to such a gathering -- that such offerings would be left to the local fauna
for fodder. Logic tells us that soccer kids have just burned off umpteen calories, so
they are entitled to a little sugar as positive reinforcement. When we were little, our
after school home snack was a colored aluminum glassful (glass cozy included) of iced
Pepsi and a Ding Dong. Alas the days of yore, we knew thee well. That stated, we
offer a glimpse of some real good eatin' in the hopes that we will all indulge ourselves
a little more often. After all, Sally Field says in the TV commercial that we only have
this one body and this one life (save Shirley MacLaine), so why not live a little.
We're all gonna go to the Big Salad bar in the sky one day anyways. Cheerio!!!

Only TEN Weeks To Halloween!

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